Previously…
Rashid
I found myself mimicking her as I saw the sincerity in her eyes.
Me: “I’m sorry too.”
I shoved my headphones in and turned the volume to the highest before she could say anything else. ‘This isn’t like me…’ I thought. Never have I ever apologized to anyone, especially a girl, even when I knew I was at fault. I always thought, she chose to get involved, and I warned her mn el bdaya. So why the sudden change? Why asma?
______________
Asma
If I hadn’t been known to overreact when it came to guys (which was proven to me just now), I would have let myself suspect Rashid’s behaviour when I felt his gaze quickly assessing me in short glances numerous times. But I told myself that I was misinterpreting kilshay, w he’s probably fed up mn 7rakaty elyhalo. I realized that I still had to mature a tiny bit more to measure up to his level. He wanted a woman. And he ended up with a messed up teenager in her last year of school. I remembered reading a saying that said something like: most of the time, you find what you are looking for in the least expected places. So maybe I just needed a change of perspective. Maybe Rashid wasn’t the monster I thought he was. ‘And maybe 3bdulla actually loved you’ I heard a sarcastic voice in my head tell me. I sighed. ‘Well, I’m STUCK with him. I might as well TRY to find something appealing in him’ I answered back. I shook my head. Why am I talking to myself?
Rashid: “Are you talking to yourself or do you have imaginary friends that I don’t know about?”
Startled, I looked up with dread-filled eyes. Was I gesturing my hands? I hope I wasn’t! Uffff how embarrassing!
Me: “Huh?”
Rashid: “Haha chanh ba3adch fe 3alam thani… mashay mashay.”
He laughed at my puzzled expression and turned away with a grin at the edge of his lips. I fooled him wonderfully. He wasn’t the only player from the both of us. Acting dumb, always works! ‘Except with 3bdulla…’ The voice told me. But it was true. I never pretended with him, and even when I did, he knew. He could see me; really see me as I was. I missed him already. I felt the urge of taking out my blackberry and texting him, just like we used to. I would’ve surrendered to my urge had Rashid not been sitting right next to me, noticing every movement I made and every expression on my face.
I couldn’t be mad forever. It just wasn’t in my nature. I am not able to hold grudges for long, nor can I pretend to have one when it fades away. My heart doesn’t welcome negative feelings; it brushes them away and tucks them into a hidden drawer until something provokes it to be reopened, and that is when my scars rekindle. But in between, they are so well hidden that I forget about them. Which can be a good thing and a bad thing. In this case, it was a good thing. 3bdulla was troubled, pondering over what on earth had happened, and how I was hyper, in my usual state, yet still refusing to talk to him, to answer his previous texts, to even look at him. He was completely and utterly confused. And I didn’t give a damn. A voice disturbed my lingering thoughts, this time not my own.
Rashid: “One would never guess such a small person could eat so much!”
I stared at him, half confused and half offended, as I held the candy bag on my lap.
Me: “Ma klait wayed… Ya3ni it’s just junk food.”
He shook his head in deliberate slowness with a smirk stretching across his cheeks, as if he were informing a child that the tooth fairy didn’t exist. Only he took pleasure in doing so.
I narrowed my eyes at him.
Me: “Uggh leave me alone.”
He laughed then, amusement flickering in his dark eyes. I rolled my eyes and continued fishing through the bag, hunting for my Hershey’s Giant bar. I absolutely loved Hershey’s. It was the best chocolate I had ever tasted, and I loved how creamy it felt when it melted in my mouth.
Me: “Yes!”
I beamed as I held my Giant bar in my fingers, an unconscious smile planting on my face. I annoyingly felt his eyes on me again, and I turned my head slightly, groaning inwardly.
Me: “NOW what?”
He spilled an innocent look on his face and regarded me with amusement. Sho ha kilshay 3ndeh y6’a7ek? Am I now the outlet to his humor, the school clown? I frowned when he didn’t appear to give me any answer, and he laughed again. His laugh was annoying. HE was annoying! Kilh ytma95ar 3alaya ufff walla maba !
He suddenly attempted making a puppy face, and I burst with laughter as I saw his complete failure.
Rashid: “Haha, always works…”
I answered him between the breaths of my laughing hysteria.
Me: “You… Have… The… WORST- HAHAHAHA!”
I erupted as he did it again, and people started looking in my direction. I calmed myself down as my laughter turned into tiny, hiccupped giggles. I blotted my eyes with the edge of my sleeve, catching the salty droplets before they fell.
Me: “Don’t ever do that again.”
I couldn’t help slip another quiet chuckle through my lips. My God, I haven’t laughed like this in a long time. Or, well it seemed like a very long time.
Rashid: “See? I have my advantages.”
Me: “Yaa, having the worst puppy face is a GREAT advantage.”
He smiled at my amused sarcasm.
Rashid: “If it makes you smile, then it is most definitely an advantage.”
A gave me a devilish grin as triumph leaked through his eyes.
Me: “3an el sa5afa la.”
I tried to sound annoyed, indifferent, to sound something other than what I was feeling right now. But as always, my fierce blush gave me away.
Rashid: “Ashoof raych 3ny t3’ayar?”
There was a hopeful hint in his tone. I forced my expression to go blank as I tried to regain my composure.
Me: “I still don’t know you well enough.”
He raised his brow at that.
Rashid: “Yom you don’t know me laish mn el bdaya m9amima inh I’m some sort of predator?”
I blinked in surprise at his answer, and how correctly he had guessed at my opinions. I panicked, and naturally…
Me: “Li2anh… Ya3ni a3rf sm3atk, w your past with girls hasn’t exactly been pleasant, not for them at least, and…”
Rashid: “You’re gonna judge me from my past?”
Me: “… don’t even know how to begin to count how many rumors have…”
Rashid: “Asma? 7oooo Asma!”
I blinked as I realized I had just babbled. Again. Ugh will this nightmare never end?
Me: “Haah?”
I faint smile curved at his lips.
Rashid: “Did you listen to what I said?”
His voice was throwing a teasing hint of amusement and disbelief.
Me: “Umm maybe?”
He grinned, his expression somewhat expectant as he waited in exaggerated patience. Reluctantly I answered him.
Me: “Okaay ufff I didn’t inzain! Mb lazm ti6’7ak 3alaya I happen to do that sometimes.”
I scowled as I saw his laughter fill the air between us.
Me: “Ufff may6’a7ek!”
He was so engrossed in his humor that I was almost tempted to laugh with him. Almost. My annoyance shadowed any laughter left in me.
Me: “Ufff screw this I’m changing my seat…”
I hadn’t intended to say it out loud, but then I had a habit of talking to myself, and my babbling tended to come out of my head, through my mouth and into the air, just as it had moments ago.
Rashid: “Aaaih la don’t go Sul6an isn’t NEARLY as funny as you are w- La la walla sorry don’t be mad I’m just not used to your… individuality.”
I hadn’t missed how he had emphasized the word ‘individuality’. Ugggghhhhhh he’s so arrogant! Maroom asta7mila he’s the complete opposite of everything I ever wanted in a guy. I moaned as I searched frantically for any sign of family, of anyone! I ignored his annoying voice as I looked for my brother’s figure. I gasped lightly when what I found were a pair of dazzling blue eyes staring directly at me, gleaming in resent. He was closer. He was within hearing distance. He had switched seats with… I couldn’t recall which family member used to be in his place. My thoughts were cut by the sharp edge in his look, my mind horror-struck at the realization that 3bdulla had been listening to us. The whole time.
To be continued…
No comments:
Post a Comment